


"I'll sleep when I'm dead"

by Fancy_Dragonqueen



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Identity Porn, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Secret Identity, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, tony drinks too much coffee, too much work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:43:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancy_Dragonqueen/pseuds/Fancy_Dragonqueen
Summary: Whatever Tony's doing it's not nearly enough.Steve's right. His father would be ashamed.Not that it's his father he wants to be proud of him.It's Steve he wants to be content with what he's doing.It has always been his shellhead.If you want angst + possible characterdeath! Then stop at Chapter 1If you want Steve's pov and fluff then continue with Chapter two <3<3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhenasInSilks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenasInSilks/gifts).



> @whenasinsilk  
> thank you for encouraging me with this fic <3
> 
> Dear aray <3 thanks for beta and everything!
> 
> For everyone:  
> If you want angst! Then stop at Chapter 1  
> If you want another view on the whole thing and fluff then continue with Chapter two when it's online <3  
> K2 of my Tony StarkBingo <3  
> I hope you all enjoy!

“Sir, may I suggest sleeping? It has been already 49 hours since your last nap.”

"Tony could hear the disapproval in his AI’s voice. Which was not entirely surprising considering that his previous nap barely lasted two hours before his brain stirred into action with a new idea."

“Mute.”

Tony didn’t need his AI being angry at him too.  
It was enough that Steve, that Winghead hated him for being too lazy, doing nothing. With a frown he grabbed the screwdriver he had dismissed for a sip of his coffee. He could still hear the captain’s voice in his ears.

_55 hours earlier_

They had just defeated another army from out of fucking nowhere. First everything had been fine and suddenly the air had been buzzing with metal mosquitos, out to not drain peoples blood - thank god for that- but for all the fuel they could find.  
What the hell.  
Not to mention that they tried to get other energy sources too. Thank god no one of the others were hurt, after those things had put an eye or more a proboscis on him they were on the hunt. It was a good thing that he managed to lure them away to a safe section in Central Park. It wasn’t a good thing that they managed to drag him down, surrounded by hundreds of them. What the hell.  
Thank god Winghead had rescued not only the day, but his armour and himself too. They had some really mean trunks that were bound to puncture metal. He could be glad that it wasn’t normal metal he used for his Iron Man armours.

After Thor showed up it wasn’t that dangerous anymore, him and Captain America taking out most of the thread while he himself tried to stay alive and mostly on the ground. It was more of an annoyance than an actual problem, still he hadn’t had any weapons for them or protection for himself. He needed to keep that in mind next time he worked on the armour, this one wasn’t one he could use anymore, it was already coming apart in some places. He needed to leave the crime scene asap or Steve would see who he was.

“You got it Winghead? I’m needed at Stark tower, I can leave you alone?”

“Sure. Stay safe Shellhead.”

Tony cringed, that voice didn’t sound amused at all. He knew that Steve hated the fact that he worked for Tony as a Bodyguard and wasn’t that funny. As if he could just tell him who he was. That would make everything a bit easier. Just that Steve hated Tony Stark with all his guts and Tony Stark disliked Steve Rogers too. Everyone knew that.

Only Shellhead was head over heels for his Winghead. He didn’t want to see his Winghead’s face turning into a grimace of hate. Tony wouldn’t survive Steve hating him.  
Tony shut off his com, ignoring JARVIS that tried to tell him it was better to talk with Steve, maybe even reveal himself. Would make it easier. Yeah. As if he didn’t know that.

“He will hate me.”

“Sir, you might be surprised.”

Tony bit back a choked laugh and shook his head. Yeah. Totally surprised. He would stop talking with Tony and that would damn well kill him.

“Let’s focus on the important things. We need to cover the destroyed buildings, the construction crew from last time sounds good. I really like them. Let’s make them our new construction team.”

Tony bantered a bit with JARVIS, talking about the new constructions, the new buildings and what he could improve, not only on them but on his armour too. It would need to wait, he had some more armours and they would need to be enough. The team's armour was more important also he needed a new upgrade for the Stark Phone that was coming out in a month. He could do that today. The board was already waiting but he had shoved it aside to work on some new widow bites.

With a soft yawn he decided to take a few hours sleep, crashing on the couch in his workshop sounded like a great idea. It wasn’t for long that he managed to nap away, JARVIS refusing to call it sleep, when he slept no more than at least four hours in one go. Rude. Why would people do something strange like that? Sleeping. He could sleep when he was dead.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead, J. You know me.”

A deep sigh answered him and Tony managed to work a bit on some new straps for Winghead’s shield when he learned that Steve wanted to talk to him. Huh. Okay.

“Tell him I’m occupied. Occupied by some hot dark guy. Or a girl, wouldn’t want poor Capsicle to scream at me for being gay.”

“Sir, the Captain refuses to go. He is waiting in the common room.”

Tony sighed deeply but left his working place to search for some spare suit. He couldn’t risk only jogging pants, the reactor would give him away in a second. Suit it was.  
It didn’t take him long to get the suit on. Tony could leave it in a crumpled state. It wouldn’t matter for Steve, would only underline JARVIS’s words.

“If that’s not the Captain! What brings you to my humble home? Take a seat.”

Steve hadn’t even changed out of his battered uniform. He stood straight in the middle of the room, a disapproving frown on his perfect face.

“Mr. Stark.”

Uh. Oh.  
That sounded as if Tony was in trouble, he just couldn’t think exactly why now.

“Is something amiss? Do you need something? I need the shield by the way, need to tinker around a bit. I think I have found a new plaything for you.”

Obviously not the right thing to say when he saw how Steve’s frown deepened. What? The new straps would be awesome. He would be able to call the Shield to him like Thor did with his hammer.

“That’s all it is to you, isn’t it? A game.”

Tony schooled his expression and his grin frozen on his face. What?

“You don’t care a thing about anyone fighting out there. All you do the whole day is partying around, sleeping and being lazy to the bone. I hate people like you. I know that SHIELD needs the money to be funded. I know that and I detest it. An organisation that important shouldn’t be dependent on someone like you.”

It wasn’t a new argument. Just that Steve- Scratch that. Just that the Captain didn’t talk to him like that normally. Had something happened after he left the scene? He needed it confirmed, he didn’t want anyone to be in danger just because he went home earlier. The armour would be finished soon and then he would be able to be better, faster. He would be able to get the attacks out of the town faster and his teammates would be safer.

“That’s what I thought.” Apparently the Captain had kept talking while Tony had zoned out to rethink the battle. No one had been injured expect his own armour. “You don’t care at all. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Stark. Keep going with being insufferable as you are. I’m not at all surprised that you don’t have friends. Your father would be ashamed.”

With that he turned on the spot and marched out of the common room, almost steaming with anger and fury. What the hell had just happened.  
Tony didn’t know, but the last sentence.  
That hurt.  
It hurt way more than it should.

“Sir?”

Tony shook himself out of his stupor and returned to the workshop, his body felt numb and his mouth tasted like ash.

“Get up some of the weapons, I think a few upgrades are needed.”

“Sir, I recommend food and sleep.”

“And I recommend you doing what I want. Bluescreens and coffee it is.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Tony ignored JARVIS and worked on the weapons, worked on armours, worked on everything he could think of and more. There were not only the normal weapons that everyone used, there were buildings to build, there were the floors no one was living in right now. Perhaps if he updated them and made them more specific for the team the wouldn’t need to live in Shield apartments. It would also be easier for them to help in the city as his tower was in the middle of it.  
At the end he had drained his last clean mug, Dum-E not able to get them all and wash the dishes. Damnit. He needed to work on that too.  
Tony rubbed his eyes tired. He definitely needed more coffee, there were still a few new arrows he needed to build for Hawkeye, another layer of armour for his own suit that should help not being uncovered. That was more of an issue now. Keeping his identity safe from Winghead. With a sigh he grabbed one of the used mugs, emptied the cold coffee in the out and set up a new one, waiting impatient for the coffee to be brewed to return to his work.

_Now_

“Sir, may I suggest sleeping? It is already 49 hours since your last nap.”

Tony could hear the disapproval in his AI’s voice, as the nap had lasted for only 2 hours max before he woke up with a new idea.

“Mute.”

Tony didn’t need his AI being angry at him too.  
It was enough that Steve, that Winghead hated him for being too lazy, doing nothing. With a frown he grabbed the screwdriver he had dismissed for a sip of his coffee. He could still hear the Captain’s voice in his ears.

Your father would be ashamed.

Indeed.

He would be ashamed for so much.  
Tony shook his head. His father would hate him for everything he had done in the past years. Would be ashamed and angry. He also thought Tony didn’t do enough, not fast enough. It was never enough.

Tony jumped from his seat when the Avenger alarm blared out of the blue. He lost the screwdriver calling for his suit to get to the scene. The mask closed around his face, the armour around his body while he tried to regain his balance. Somehow the world spun quit fast around him and his ears felt like someone was drumming inside.

“Sir, I recommend you to sit this one out.”

“I will never stay at home when the rest needs me.”

“It isn’t safe, your body system is too fatigued to endure a fight.”

“Let Daddy decide, J. I’m going out. Get the presents delivered.”

Tony had a bunch of weapons he managed to give to the Avengers already seated in the quinjet, his feet not hitting the floor when he delivered.

“I’m going in first to check.”

“Stay safe Shellhead. I hope Stark left you in peace the last two days.”

“Yeah, everything alright Winghead. No need to worry. Stark was busy with presents.”

“Damn yes. I love those new arrows!” It was Clint that made Tony grin, the archer was so happy about new toys it was a joy to hear. If only all of them would like Tony too and not only the things he made them. Tony felt a bit bitter, but shoved the thought away. No need for that.

“Perhaps he’s taking some responsibility finally.”

Cap sounded still angry, but a little bit smug right now, it felt good that he wasn’t that furious anymore. Perhaps he did right this time?  
It warmed Tony’s heart and he smiled dumbly behind his mask. Winghead liked what he did. Maybe he was right and Tony should really work harder. He could do that. If someone could work, then it was Tony.

Obviously they hadn’t got rid of the mosquito thingies.  
There were new ones, looking more heavily armed and really what was his world with armed mosquitos? Those were still made of metal and their proboscis looked sharper, more determined than before. They also looked very interested in him.  
He really should have upgraded his armour too.

“Same problem again. I’m trying to lure them out of the city. Again. I really wanna know who sends them. Oh. And Mr.Stark wants one of them to see if he can work on something helpful.”

The mosquitos had disappeared while everyone was looking after civilians first and only then for the robots. It was a beginners mistake, but no one could be blamed for it and Tony sure as hell wouldn’t open his mouth because he hadn’t thought about it either.

“Wait for us, Shellhead. You won’t fight them alone. You’ve seen what they did to you last time. I say stand down.”

Tony could hear Cap crying out for him, but he just took a roll in the air to show that he was completely in control. He took off to the next safe place, this time happily out of the city, only to be hit by something that was way bigger than one of those mosquitos he had on his heels. Holy-  
Tony stared at the gigantic thing in front of him. Obviously that was mother-mosquito or daddy-mosquito because it was at least three times as big as the ones they had managed to defeat.

“Well. That might be a little bit of a problem.”

Tony could hear the rest of the Avengers coming in, this time without the help of Thor who was visiting his beloved girl, or was sightseeing, or eating in a foreign country. One couldn’t know.  
Big momma focused on Tony, not at all trying to get the huge quinjet behind him which he should be grateful for. Therefore his teammates were safe. At least one worry that he could get out of his head.

With a sigh he opened his hands, repulsors ready. He wanted to tell them to stay back, that they needed to destroy them when they attacked. Tony was interrupted by a giant wing trying to slap him right in the face. Not nice.  
He could hear the rest of the Avengers talking over the com, Cap giving orders but the pounding in his ears increased again. Damn. Tony couldn’t hear anything. There were dark spots in his vision and he wondered if the monster was sending some interference signals but there weren’t any. At least not that J told him.

“Sir. Your body needs rest and immediate attention. I recommend recovering in the tower.”

“I can’t let them fight alone.”

It was a bad move to mute JARVIS in a fight but what else should he do? He didn’t want to hear that he should rest. J had heard Cap too. No rest for the wicked. He could still sleep when he was dead.

Ignoring the quinjet the mosquitos focused on him, only to not fight him but to separate Iron Man from the rest of the group. He didn’t see it at first, distracted by the sheer amount of metallic insects trying to hold him in the air, hold him still for. Oh.

“Shit.”

The Momma-mosquito raised it’s trunk, clearly aiming for the Arc Reactor. Tony struggled, tried to get out of their tiny metallic arms. Seriously when had they pinned him in the air, he wasn’t able to get free. Something like panic slowly crept into through his veins, the little trunks were able to pierce his armour, if the big one was just as strong as the little ones there was no way he would survive that.  
Tony could hear someone scream, maybe himself when the trunk lowered itself slowly onto his chest, not to pierce through him, doing worse. It would have been easier to just get impaled.  
Instead it started to suck, draining the energy out of the reactor, out of the suit. He could hear JARVIS shutting down, his own heart pounding faster. What a way to go.  
Tony had always thought he would go down in a fight but not like that. Not drained by a giant insect. The visor of the armour turned black and Tony closed his eyes. Damn. And he hadn’t even managed to make his Winghead proud.

Tony could feel the Arc Reactor giving out, could feel his body shifting, falling to the ground. There was another scream, familiar, near. Tony didn’t know if he just imagined it. It didn’t matter anyway. The ground was coming nearer and he was glad he couldn’t see it. Glad there was only darkness surrounding him. With a soft sigh he whispered the words he hadn’t dared to say out loud for the last years, wanting them to say it at least one time before he died. Even if no one heard them because the coms were connected to the suit.

“I love you Winghead.”


	2. Chapter 2

Steve couldn’t believe it.  
His shellhead was working his metal ass off, while Tony Stark lazed around. Stark was only interested in his shenanigans, his parties, how to piss everyone off. He didn’t care at all for his employees, for other people's feelings. The only thing he searched was the next booze, the next bottom or boobs he could find.  
Yes, Steve was angry and he didn’t care that his language wasn’t at all fitting. In fact he couldn’t care less if said it to the man’s face.

Steve could see his shellhead working and working and working, not getting a day off, always on the run. The man must be exhausted to the bone, waving away Steve’s worry like it was nothing.

“I’m half metal, the armour helps a lot.”

His answer every time when Steve begged him to say no to Stark. Every time Steve tried to get a little bit more than Movie Night out of him. He feared for the man and he really didn’t want to think about what that implied.  
Steve cared about the others too, had cared about Bucky too, but not like that. The feelings for Shellhead they were different.  
Steve knew that, he just didn’t want to say it out loud. Too afraid to destroy their friendship. Too afraid to lose one of the most important persons in his life.

He missed the nights where they sat next to each other on a roof and talked about their lives. Steve wished he could help his Shellhead a bit. His life hadn’t been the easiest, with his father being an asshole and still trying to live up to him when all Steve wanted to do was to shake the man for making Shellhead that insecure.

Talking with Tony Stark didn’t help at all.  
The man was insufferable.  
He had dragged Iron Man back into his tower even though he was doing things with whatever playmate he was bedding right now.  
It took all his willpower to school his expression and not openly glare at the man.

“Mr.Stark.”

At least he had the guts to look a bit startled. Not that he was prepared for the things Steve wanted to throw at him. 

“Is something amiss? Do you need something? I need the shield by the way, need to tinker around a bit. I think I have found a new plaything for you.”

Steve tried not to growl.  
As if he wanted a new toy. As if he needed a new toy. Alle he wanted was for the man to finally take some responsibility.

“That’s all it is to you, isn’t it? A game.”

He was angry, more than angry. There was so much he wanted to throw at the man, so much he wanted to tell him but somehow nothing would get through. Steve knew that. Better men had tried.

“You don’t care a thing about anyone fighting out there. All you do the whole day is partying around, sleeping and being lazy to the bone. I hate people like you. I know that SHIELD needs the money to be funded. I know that and I detest it. An organisation that important shouldn’t be dependent on someone like you.”

Steve could see Stark’s face twitching, the normal too big smile on his face. Steve hated that smile, it was false and unreal. He couldn’t stand it at all.

“You don’t even care for Iron Man who shouldn’t protect you while you’re whoring yourself through the town. He’s working way too long. Way too hard. I demand that he gets some more free time or only to work as an Avenger. You don’t even need a bodyguard like that. Do you even hear what I say?”

It didn’t seem so. Steve was furious. He tried to get something for his Shellhead, but the man didn’t even care for his own bodyguard. How disgusting.

“That’s what I thought. You don’t care at all. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Stark. Keep going with being insufferable as you are. I’m not at all surprised that you don’t have friends. Your father would be ashamed.”

Steve turned on his heel, storming out of the common room, out of the tower.  
He couldn’t talk with this man.

The team avoided him the next day, sensing his bad mood. Not even Shellhead was to be seen anywhere. Maybe he was on vacation? Or maybe Stark had done some stupid stunt where he really needed the poor man. It was horrible. Steve didn’t know how Iron Man could stand that. Yes the man had saved his life. Shellhead had told him the armour was what kept him alive, he wanted to repay the man. It was long repaid, if all the stories Shellhead had told him were true.  
Steve was half glad, half afraid when the next Avenger call came in. Again those mosquitos. Hopefully Shellhead would wait this one out.

Then again he felt a smile tugging on his lips when he heard the familiar repulsors, could see the red and gold gleaming in the sun. He had some things with him that made Steve nod. Finally Stark seemed to take it a bit more seriously, but it wasn’t enough.

“Stay safe Shellhead. I hope Stark left you in peace the last two days.”

“Yeah, everything alright Winghead. No need to worry. Stark was busy with presents.”

Somehow Steve couldn’t believe that, not with the way Shellhead was swaying in the air, not able to stay still like he normally did. It made Steve frown. Something wasn’t right.

“Damn yes. I love those new arrows!”

Steve rolled his eyes and tried to suppress a smile. Sometimes some of them wore more childish than they should be after years in their profession. He ignored Clint having an early christmas this year. 

“Perhaps he’s taking some responsibility finally.”

Steve tried to get a bit more information out of Shellhead with that, but no way he would shit on his employer. Steve wanted to sigh but he accepted that he couldn’t do anything to get Shellhead out of this. He would need to think of something. He wanted his Shellhead safe.  
He wouldn’t be safe with Tony Stark.

“Same problem again. I’m trying to lure them out of the city. Again. I really wanna know who sends them. Oh. And Mr.Stark wants one of them to see if he can work on something helpful.”

Steve frowned, he didn’t like it at all. Shellhead was doing something stupid again and he couldn’t help at all. He was too reckless, didn’t care for his wellbeing. Steve didn’t know if it was because the armour gave him the strength, or the feeling, or if it was a character trait the man had. With another frown he needed to admit to himself that he liked him especially for his stubbornness. Perhaps he shouldn’t worry for Shellhead standing up for himself. The man was doing quite well.

“Wait for us, Shellhead. You won’t fight them alone. You’ve seen what they did to you last time. I say stand down.”

Steve frowned when he heard the reply and shook his head. As if he would listen to anyone.

“Damnit. I told him to stand down.”

Steve ignored the snickering from the rest of the team and tried to be faster than Iron Man. Not an easy feat. One could say what one wanted but Stark knew what he was doing when he built something. Even Steve needed to admit that, though grudgingly.

They fought.  
There was not a lot of bickering in between, everyone too occupied by the neverending swarm of mosquitos. It was clear that they weren’t the main target, that they were just a distraction.

Steve frowned when he couldn’t see Shellhead anymore.

“I don’t like that at all.”

“Neither does anyone of us, Cap.”

Clint managed to take three out with one arrow, grinning like a maniac over the new arrows. At least one of them had their fun.

“Come on, let’s try a distraction. We need to get them off your Shellhead so that you stop frowning like that and keep looming over the nice, hot metalass over there. Guess what? When he lies in the sun he should get really hot, shouldn’t he?”

Steve tried to ignore the teasing, but couldn’t help the slight blush creeping over his cheeks. Damn. He wasn’t that obvious, was he?

With a few commands he coordinated the rest, his eyes not leaving the big ball of fluttering wings. They were already scattering, he could see Shellhead being held by a lot of them, while the biggest thing was aiming his trunk at the middle of his chest. Where the Arc Reactor was seated.

No.

Steve knew how important the reactor was for Shellhead, knew that it was his life source, that he would die without it. With a yell he killed the next mosquito, his eyes never leaving shellhead when suddenly the trunk connected with the armour, luckily not piercing it through. Steve felt his body freeze, his mouth going dry. Whatever that thing was doing to Shellhead, they needed to hurry. The thing couldn’t steal the Reactor. It would kill him.

“I think it’s draining the reactor, look the things eyes are glowing.”

Clint was right.  
He was right. The thing was killing him.  
Hot rage in his veins Steve threw the shield, satisfied when he saw the thing losing it’s cut off trunk and giving out a shriek. The second his shield touched his fingers he threw it again, this time aimed at the head, killing it in the process.  
Steve couldn’t care less.  
The only thing he saw was Shellhead falling. The man didn’t react, didn’t flail, there was no motion. Just falling.

No.  
He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t leave Steve.  
Steve heard himself yelling, he didn’t even care for his shield, leaving it on the ground, running to catch Iron Man. Not that he would be able to catch him. Even he wasn’t strong enough.  
The armour still remained dead, no repulsors, no light coming from it.  
Steve’s breath hitched when the armour dropped straight into a tree, destroyed half of it, even as it slowed his fall, and crashed into the ground.

“Shellhead.”

Cap came to a stop, falling down on his knees beside his friend. There was no light coming from the reactor.

“No. God no. Please don’t leave me.”

Steve’s hands were shaking when he touched the breast plate. The place where the light normally shone in a soothing blue. There was no light. No movement.  
No witty response.  
Steve waited for Shellhead to laugh at him and tell him that it was all a joke.  
Nothing of the kind happened.

“No.”

Steve closed his eyes, stinging with tears he tried to hold back.  
This couldn’t be.  
A mechanical sounding voice, JARVIS, he was reminded answered him suddenly from out of his own com.

“Captain Rogers, Sir needs immediate medical attention. The suit is suffocating him and I can’t open the armour on my own.”

The AI sounded almost panicked, but Steve only recognized one thing. It was suffocating him, that meant he was still alive. Shellhead was still alive!  
Without thinking about anything else stupid like the man’s privacy he grabbed the faceplate and ripped it out of the helmet. Steve froze. For a second he stared at the man’s face.  
The man’s eyes closed in a much too pale face, heavy dark bags under them. The normally so immaculately trimmed beard not neat anymore. There were dark shades and slight stubble where he hadn’t shaved it.

“Stark.”

It all made sense and at the same time not.  
Steve shook his head, whether the man was his real Shellhead or was playing Iron Man wasn’t important now. His breathing was much too shallow. Steve could see the dents in the armours breastplate. It must hurt, hindering his breathing. He cursed and started to rip off more, revealing only a hole in the chestplate, while the reactor stood where it was.

“What the hell.”

Stark didn’t wear anything underneath the armour where Steve pried it open, revealing the Arc Reactor sitting in his chest. It seemed fused into him, from what Steve could see. Surrounded by scars, so many scars all over his torso. Steve couldn’t see it all but what he managed to see was enough. This wasn’t Stark playing Iron Man. Stark was Iron Man. He was his Shellhead.

“Don’t you dare die on me like that. Or I swear I will find a way to kill you.”

“What the heck.”

Clint.

“That’s unexpected.”

Nat. Somehow she sounded bored like it wasn’t a secret to her at all. There was worry in her voice but no surprise. He would need to investigate that later.

Hands dragged him away from Tony, Steve’s eyes not leaving the much too pale face.

“Come on. Let’s get him home. There is an emergency protocol for something like that.”

Steve didn’t care, he only had eyes for his Shellhead. He didn’t leave the man’s side, pried his arm away from whomever was dragging him away.

“We will bring him home. Not to SHIELD. No one gets to know about this, do you hear me? It’s his secret. He doesn’t- If he awakes. It’s his own choice, yeah?”

His own voice sounded thin and far away in his ears. The team didn’t question it.

“Jarvis? We’re taking him home. Tell me what to do?”

Steve had heard the AI talking, he just hoped he hadn’t damaged him while prying the armour apart.

“There is another Arc Reactor in his workshop, he needs it before he goes into cardiac arrest.”

God.

Steve could only be glad that their enemies were destroyed, somehow they had been connected with the biggest of them, and when it had been shattered by Steve’s shield, they died with it. SHIELD would take care of the rest.

Steve ripped the rest of the armour apart, blushing slightly when he saw that the man underneath the armour was buck naked. Well stark naked. It didn’t help his blush to decrease and he cursed himself inwardly for being that obvious. Also they had bigger problems.  
Carefully Steve lifted the man out of his armour, covering him with a blanket Nat gave him wordlessly. They managed to get Tony to the tower. Steve was still holding him in his arms, trying to warm him up with his own body warmth. He looked so small and vulnerable. There was not enough on his ribs as if he had forgotten to eat. Muscles on his body, lean and defined. Steve could feel them under his fingertips, where his hands had sneaked under the blanket to feel the breathing, the slow rising of Tony’s chest.

How could he have been so blind?

He had talked to Shellhead, about almost everything.  
The man had been so understanding, so kind. It was almost the opposite of Stark, who had teased him from the start. It was as if they were two different persons.  
Just that somehow he had known from the start. The way they had phrased things, different opinions and still the same heat and joy when they did something.  
In fact now that he knew, Steve wanted to hit his head on the table because it was so obvious.

It was a bit strange though, how the kinder side was shown through the armour, then again it made sense. He didn’t need to show his face for that.  
God.  
What Shellhead had told him about his father. Steve had told him Howard would have been ashamed. He must have hurt him so bad. Steve knew that Howard had changed, had heard some stories, but discarded them because he didn’t want to feel sympathy for the genius.  
How dumb he had been.  
He had told him that he didn’t work enough, god. When he thought about what Shellhead did and what Tony Stark did in his time, there was not enough time on this planet to manage all of that. He had been an ass to the man.

A tiny voice in his head reminded him that he had done it only for Shellhead and because he loved him. Mostly because Steve loved him. God he had been in love with Tony Stark all the time. He felt like a goddamn groupie. Only they wouldn’t have chased him into death.

Steve touched Tony’s face, the exhausted man leaning into the touch, a soft and quiet motion, but enough to confirm that he was still alive.

“We’re here.”

Natasha laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder, squeezed it for a second.

“Don’t worry. He’s survived a lot. No way he will die on us this time. Just think of him being a mix of Shellhead and Tony Stark. He will be insufferable. You will wish for him to be quiet.”

Steve nodded.  
Yeah. But what if not?  
What if he would die right now? In his arms?  
Steve didn’t want to think about it. He nodded quietly to Nat who squeezed his shoulder again, then made a way to the medical bay they had in the tower.  
God.  
Tony had even build them apartments, but not one of them had dared to stay there.  
Tony not one of the team. They had left him all alone. Not trusting him.

“I will make it up to you, Shellhead. You just need to hold on a bit longer, I know you can do it.”

Steve walked to the medical bay, not letting go of Tony even when he laid him down onto the bed. Somehow the bed with the white sheets made it worse. Steve had tucked them over Tony, the man felt like he was freezing. He looked even paler than before, the slight streaks of grease on his left cheek and his forehead a reminder that he hadn’t slept at least a few hours before the fight. Tony had been working on the weapons he had gifted to them.

“I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“He will understand, he’s not one to carry a grudge. Now help me and hold this.”

Steve frowned at her in a way that let her know that he would talk about that with her. Not now, not when he had a glowing reactor in his hand. Steve could only hope it wasn’t already too late. With horror he watched her, opening the reactor and dragging it out of Tony’s chest. There was a giant hole in his chest, Steve couldn’t believe he was alive with that. It must have hurt. When did it happen?  
He could hear Nat sigh and then the reactor was dragged out of his fingers, inserted in the hole and Steve could hear the soft clicks, when she locked it in.

Nothing happened.

Tony was still breathing but not as strong as he should, his heart not strong but getting weaker. Steve could hear Nat inhaling and then leaving the room fast and not at all quiet like she normally did.

“Shellhead?”

Steve took a step closer, grabbed for Tony’s hand.

“Don’t do this to me. Whom do I get to yell at if you won’t open your eyes anymore? God, I’ve ranted about you to yourself the whole time! Why didn’t you say anything?”

He kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of the uniform, leaving him in only his underwear when he sneaked under the blankets, drawing Tony’s body near. Tony was still so cold. He smelled of motor oil and paint and sweat, and under all of it something that smelled unmistakably like Tony, like the first time they had met. Steve could feel his eyes burning, the tears finally falling while he dragged Tony close to his chest, buried his nose in the unwashed hair. He didn’t care.

“Don’t die on me. I don’t want to lose you, Shellhead.”

“Totally dying when you crush me like that.”

“Shellhead!”

Steve didn’t let go, he just turned him a bit to be able to look him in the face.

“You’re grounded. For the next month.”

“Wh-at?”

It was almost too funny to watch Tony’s face going through different stages of confusion.

“You can’t let yourself die before I’m able to tell you that I love your reckless ass.”

“Excuse me?”

Steve didn’t care. God he didn’t care at all, he just leaned down and kissed Tony, opening his arms a bit to give him space to push Steve away. Instead the man sighed into the kiss and leaned forward, closed his eyes again and answered the kiss. Slow and tender. Everything else would have to wait.

“Okay, I really don’t know what’s happening right now, but did you just say you love me? You know I’m Tony Stark and everyone knows that you ha-hmpf.”

Steve interrupted him with a second kiss, not at all bothered about cutting him off.

“Hmhm. But you’re also my Shellhead and I thought I would never be able to kiss you or hold you in my arms like that. Also I might have found a way to shut you up. Plus I don’t need to be angry at you anymore for giving my Shellhead too much to work. We will figure that out, if you’re up to?”

“So you’re not angry?”

Tony sounded way to small and fragile with that question, not at all the playboy he wanted to seem all those years. More like his shellhead being in a softer mood.

“I am furious. You almost got yourself killed. That will stop, have you heard me? I-”

“Good god. Warn us guys! Ew. Momma and Daddy are naked in the bed. I can’t believe it. Mom almost died and a second later they are going at it like rabbits.”

Sadly Clint was fast enough to get out of the room to not get hit by the pillow that Steve threw after him. The smile it drew out of Tony was worth it and Steve kissed his forehead before he wrinkled his nose.

“First shower, then all the sleep you need.”

Surprisingly Tony didn’t fight against the whole thing and it took only a bit time until they laid snuggled up to each other in the bed, Tony finally getting the sleep he had missed surrounded by Steve’s protective arms. Work could wait for a few hours, in fact he would try to drag him to sleep more often until the dark circles disappeared and he didn’t need to fear for Shellheads life anymore. Maybe it was also time to live in the rooms Tony had made for them. They were a family after all.

The end


End file.
